Oh Good, There’s Going to Be Another Fyre Festival
Because, of course, why wouldn’t there be? Billy McFarland, fresh out of prison and apparently not too concerned with public humiliation, is back with a plan to reboot the world’s most infamous festival disaster. Yes, folks, Fyre Festival II is happening.
Slated for April 2025 on a privately owned island somewhere off Mexico (because “location pending” is always a great sign), McFarland seems to believe that a little time in the clink has made him the ultimate event planner. Tickets for this four-day extravaganza start at a modest $1,400—pocket change, really, considering the $1.1 million VIP package that promises luxury yachts, island hopping, and scuba diving. The only thing missing is… well, literally every other detail.
Let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we? The first Fyre Fest, back in 2017, promised luxury villas and gourmet meals at an ultra-exclusive Bahamian music festival. What attendees actually got were FEMA disaster tents, plastic box cheese sandwiches, and a deserted island with zero functioning bathrooms or stages. And let’s not forget the most memorable performance of all: McFarland himself, performing a masterclass in how to swindle your way into a federal fraud conviction.
But don’t worry! This time it’s going to be different. McFarland, now 32 and “going about it professionally,” claims he’s learned from his mistakes. He’s spent a whole year working on Fyre Fest II and has hired an actual festival production company to “handle the stages and bathrooms and all the stuff that I clearly don’t know how to do.” Bold of him to admit that, but sure, we’ll bite. Except, of course, for the fact that he won’t name the production company. Or the island. Or the artists.
But hey, McFarland has a vision! He insists it’s not just about 10,000 people awkwardly waving their hands at an empty stage this time. Instead, he’s selling some kind of island adventure where you hop on a plane with six strangers and explore reefs and beaches you didn’t even know existed. (Which, in hindsight, sounds a lot like the start of a Dateline episode.)
According to McFarland, we’re all just not seeing the potential here. He believes Fyre Fest II could become an annual juggernaut, dominating the festival industry. After all, why wouldn’t it? When you think of unforgettable live music experiences, don’t you immediately think, “Man, you know what’s missing? A festival planned by a convicted scam artist!” The festival is set to host around 3,000 people. So, for anyone feeling lucky enough to drop a few grand to relive a once-in-a-lifetime disaster, this is your chance.
If, for some inexplicable reason, you find yourself tempted to buy tickets to Fyre Fest II, you’ll have to apply for them (which you can do here). Yes, apply. Because nothing says “trustworthy” quite like a pay-to-play exclusivity game. But, hey, at least you’ll get to tell your friends you were there—whether it’s for the party of a lifetime or another historic disaster.
Place your bets, folks.
